Ten Pebbles In My Shoe
1. Nightlife photo blogs (lastnightsparty.com, indierotica, etc) and the scenesters who are so desperate to pose for them.
(wow, that pout looks really spontaneous! I bet you didn't practice it a thousand times at home with your digital camera!)
2. Bouncers who use the pathetic thimbleful of authority they're given to exact a power trip on people. Man, oh man -- you guys are L. O. S. E. R. S.
3. People who wear Motorhead shirts but don't know any Motorhead songs other than "Ace of Spades."
4. That band The Editors. Every time I hear one of their songs on satellite radio, I think, "oh no, it's Interpol." Then I look at the display and find out it is in fact The Editors, who sound exactly like Interpol, who in turn sound exactly like Joy Division. Which begs the question: when will we be hearing the first wave of Editors soundalikes? I can't wait!!
5. People who wear Ramones shirts but don't know any Ramones songs except "I Wanna Be Sedated."
6. Three words: namedropping, namedropping, namedropping.
7. People with mohawks whose knowledge of punk rock goes no deeper than "Rock the Casbah."
8. The MTA's lost-or-stolen Metrocard Insurance Policy: if your monthly card is lost or stolen and was purchased with a credit card, the MTA will generously refund you $2.53 per day for each day you had left on the card. What the hell is that? That's little more than one ride on the damn train! Who just rides the subway once in a day? At the very least, you've gotta return from wherever you went, no? Cheap bastards.
9. People who wear Misfts shirts but only know....well, they usually don't know ANY Misfits songs.
(Consumer tip: listen to the Misfits!!)
10. People who go on and on about how great things used to be and how everything sucks now. Hey, you! Everything's just great, so why don't you slap a big smile on that gorgeous puss and shut up?!