Bandhunt

It seems like every single time I walk into my neighborhood grocery store, I hear the same f-ing song on the radio. I swear to God. It's as if those wacky wiseacres at C-Town are just waiting for me to show up, giggling, with the song on cue, because they know that this particular little ditty makes me completely fucking homicidal.

Whenever I hear this thing, I want to whistle a bullet through my head. I don't know who sings it, but I believe it's called "1985." The lyrics are a litany of cheap, gimmicky pop culture references from everybody's favorite decade, THE EIGHTIES. The chorus is like, "Springsteeen, Madonna, way before Nirvana..." and is sung by some little whiny puke who makes Weird Al look like Henry Rollins. The music itself sounds like it was assembled in the same factory that cranks out Averil Lavigne and Sum 41 hits. The song was apparently written for the benefit of nostalgic yuppie types who stopped listening to new music while Bush #1 was still in office. Hearing it makes me want to peel my skin off.

If anyone can tell me the name of the band that is responsible for this vile piece of worm-ridden chart fodder, please do. Because when I find out who it is, I'm going to track them down and squish them like bugs. Then I'm going to firebomb their record label.

I think I need to listen to some Slayer to get my equilibrium back.