12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is WRONG

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Americans always reject unnatural things, which is why we don't use eyeglasses, polyester, or birth control.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all - women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

4. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

5. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people aren't allowed to marry because our orphanges aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Straight marriage will be less meaningful. If homosexual marriage were allowed, the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

9. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected
legislatures, not the courts, have historically
protected the civil rights of minorities.

10. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

11. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

12. Civil unions--providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name--are better, because "separate but equal" institutions are historically constitutional.

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Thanks again Alisa!